went to the grocery store in a zipcar. Holy crap! that car was strange..... i felt so unsafe! could feel every small bump in the road!! half as long as a normal car. Cool thing happened in the grocery store tho..... my total was $44.44, but then i had some discounts. xP reminds me of btr

Really really wanna buy Samurai Warriors 3 for my brother (so that I can play) But it's not out yet...... arghhhh..... maybe it can be his b-day or xmas present.

Realized watching movies/ dramas is just not for me. I hate seeing ppl killed/ fighting. Not too fond of all the emotional stuff going on...... unless it has an interesting storyline that teaches me something or makes me laugh, then not interested xP

back from the 20s

two 20s event in one night! Well i got to reuse my costume. And I was the most 20s - ish person at the second event!

Anyways, some random things

- i'm crap at acting. And oh yeah flirting between girl-girl is def uncomfortable

- ppl made fun of my 'heavy' american accent in japanese...... i was trying to say 'kore' and the 'r'..... it just doesn't get along with me D:

- apparently I remind ppl of a panda. I......eat shoots n leaves!

- i tried to explain the premise of gokusen to ppl. Yes my very first dorama~~. It sounds..... pretty cheesy..... esp once i mentioned the moral msgs each episode. And how yankumi always kicks bad guys butt to save her students DDDD:

- this older guy.....who was quite enlightening.....talking about how college is my 'formative' years cuz before that we're basically replicas of our parents. So.....I've spent my formative years in the States......no wonder I feel more n more American xP Actually it's cuz US is better at brain washing.....lol

- he also knows korean n japanese why does everyone know japanese?!......it's ok, i know american xP..... but his grandparents owned a chinese restaurant in alabama and were there when black ppl were mistreated back in the day :O He also lived in Hong Kong and apparently the investment bankers go out to party EVERY night.....until 5-6 am, grab 4 hrs of sleep, go to work and repeat the routine all over again. :OOO I have a feeling that's the same with IB-ers everywhere! And probably any other high pressure jobs w/ lots of young ppl earning tons of money. I totally wanted to ask him about *drugs*, cuz supposedly that happens a lot with them too.......or something

- this guy kept complimenting that i looked really good. And then he asked me to dance. And then I ran away.......even if I sorta *kinda* like him. Gahhhh..... I need to stop doing that n getting embarrased. Well....... at least he thought I looked good? Too bad he's graduating soon...... and that he probably complimented me cuz I put on a sh*t load of makeup...... sigh

- so many ppl i know work at facebook. Apparently the engineering team gets access to the entire database......of EVERYONE's information. Woahhhh..... I sort of want to intern there now. (not for that reason tho xP) Next year!

- am still grieving for my appendix. I'm kinda sad I don't have one anymore. I feel 'un-whole' :(

I wanna go to the Shanghai Expo ~~~
and China~~~
and visit my grandparents |:<

it's all such a joke reading some of my earlier entries......i'm a joke......pierrot jya nai yo~

i did everything i *wanted* to do......can I PLEASE finally let go?

unflkjalkfdsjlf

last

了断吧， 了断吧
这几年来唯一安慰着我却又像毒品慢慢吞噬我的一切
嗯不能执迷不悟了。虽然我已跳出了一些陋习，但却找到了 replacement 然后就继续在这种怪圈子里。 再不主动就要一辈子这样下去了！ 我表！

虽然可以藏在心底，但以后坚决不要看那 些网站了。 有些记忆还是藏在心底更美好，嗯

其实我是最看不起那些的，但实在是陪伴我太长了，人还需要21天改变习惯呢。

还 有那些有的没得，看了我都生气， 也不知道为什么还那么上瘾。 天哪！

所以趁现在还来得及，就忘了吧。 就当是一场恋爱，然后我失恋了

或 者当那些狗血剧 让我失去记忆也行。总之，从今以后我们就行同陌路了，我不会再执迷于此了，让我神不守舍的，干正事都心不在焉

我 要 prove 我还可以作很多事，理念不能总是心里想想，要用实际来说明什么是我的 precious 的人和事物

顺带着也不要总 给自己找难过，以扭曲 的眼光看世界

started reading christian reviews of movies. I think the way it's going.....they will label EVERY movie as morally corrupt. uhhhhh

and for Ponyo, somebody wrote:
'There was the dad—well at first I wasn't sure if it was a dad - could have been a man or woman'
lol.....ouch..... japanese masculinity just went down the drain
'I know that the film makers in Hollywood don't think like most evangelical christians.....'
eh? hollywood had nothing to do with this movie?

Anyways, so my dilemma is about Christianity again. I do believe in God I honestly do. But Christians seem so extreme. It seems like I need to live every single second reading the bible or something. Not allowed to do anything else in my free time or I'd feel guilty about not being a 'good Christian'. And did God really create the world just so we could worship him and not do anything else? I dunno.....seems..... strange to me, I do believe he'd want us to love him, but us not doing anything else? Also a lot of the 'evidence' i hear supporting different things are very circumstantial and also how prayers work borders on mi xing.

One thing I do agree tho is the view on homosexuals. Mostly cuz I've become homophobic. Like......very. From so much that happened in real life and non- real life. I def don't think ppl were born like that like it was your ethnicity. (that times article btw is bull too...... how can that dude say that? and that his priests can be gay?) I mean first of all if it's entirely genetic then gays would die out. And I find it hard to believe they won't react to females entirely. Like sure they may have a genetic predisposition to the same sex, but the rest is all in the surroundings and their minds. And once they convince themselves and exist in that thought pattern long enough, it's hard to break out of it.

was inspired to write in this from now on. Need to learn to let go..... :/

went to a bible study. I was a bit hesistant about whether or not to go...... since my post earlier, and plus i needed to work with my project partner (yes we're so hard working) but I felt a need to go so I went. And I'm really really glad to have gone. I definitely learned a lot of things. I hope too that our presence somehow helped that family.

It was the family of that visiting graduate student that got hit by a car and died. These things..... i don't know, happening on other people that you don't know is sad. But once you are in contact with them..... then it's just..... i don't know. I question the purpose of God's plans sometimes.

But yeah, no real comments, but the family seems to be handling it a lot better than I thought, at least on the surface. The wife, she's so young. The story really seems like something out of a novel or movies, she was wearing two rings on her chain. And from what she said, they seemed like a sweet and cute couple. Like even if it was something super cliche, the way she said it was extremely romantic and sad.

Hmmmm...... I guess some things just happen, that's life. But DO wear helmets while biking.

haven't written in this blog in a long while......but i think i'll start. I like the format more anyways.

So...... why is it that I'm so easily disappointed? ppl think I'm super calm but that's cuz there's no point in being hyped about things....... cuz then you realize.......oh..... it's just like that......nothing special.