sometimes i wonder why i am so slow....... like seriously....... in life
I was thinking about why other ppl were ready to get boyfriends in hs or even middle school and I'm still struggling with the concept. I think one of the big problems is I'm such an idealist. I almost wish I never ever had that humongo crush back in hs. It certainly did not set me up for success. And reading all those pure romancey things made it worse...... made me think that to date, that person has to be perfect....... or at least someone that makes my heart flutter and sweeps me off my feet......or something. I dunno how it is for other ppl.......but that's just not very realistic for me. And when I saw other people dating i thought they were selling themselves short. But now that I think about it, they are the ones with the correct attitudes. I mean..... it's not like any person was meant to be with a particular person. (tho...... it was nice to fantasize that) But yeah......all that fantasizing just lead me further and further off track.
But now I actually think it's cute when they just sort of like each other......and stuff. It doesn't have to be permanent...... it might not work out. lol...... but i'm like 10 years too late. And now everybody around me has already moved onto a wayyyy later stage. How can I even catch up?
I think most people don't even understand my way of thinking....... and the ones that do...... are likely to be in my position as well that we can't really help each other or give advice -_-;; And I really should be less preoccupied with all this....... cuz i'm supposed to be doing so much other stuff too.
Those were just some random thoughts, I'm really not as gloomy/ desperate as I sound tho......really. On the bright side I'm excited to go to reunion soon! And finally we'll all meet up again :)
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6 comments:
Hi ZZ
Even though I'm seeing tomorrow, I still love reading your posts =). I don't think there's anything wrong with being "friendly and slow moving" (sound familiar ? ) haha. I think everything happens at a different pace for everyone, and you shouldn't rush something, unless you really want that. Besides, boy crazy isn't necessarily the best thing! Haha.
I think having high standards is a good thing, as long as they're reasonable standards =) Besides, you can practice flirting at the reunion jk (or am i jk-ing?) heh HEH
Hey~ I didn't know if you'd figure it out, but it's meikimari~ aka Kat. :D I figured I'd start dropping by. XD I said I would after all~
Yeah...I think that's my problem, as I read way too many romance stories and what not...and JE makes you think that you need this perfect guy beside you. XD Dramas to. :/ I'd really like to meet my future husband in a really unrealistic romantic situation. XD But I'd highly doubt that happening. XD
@ Dovey
<33333
'friendly and slow-moving' :)
thanks, yeah there has to be guys out there that will fit me, somewhere. And trying too hard to become a certain personality or whatever is too hard for me. It's nicer when it really fits.
Meanwhile i can learn about relationships from ones i have with friends......even tho it's not exactly the same thing.
@ Kat
Thanks for dropping by! Are you going to use your blogspot too? That's so exciting!!
yeah..... romance and JE D:
The bad thing is that I don't think the JE guys are perfect at all..... I can pick out a ton of things I don't like in each of them......oops. But yeah they definitely set the standards even higher.
Ah..well, I'm planning to use my blogspot for my music/writing stuff...and I'll still use my LJ for my main blogging. XD Just makes things a bit easier. I used to have a host and what not for both, but I finally gave it up today. XD
@ Kat
oh ok.....well i'll try to check your lj too. But your own music composition? That sounds really cool! Can't wait to hear it :)
haha hopefully, I won't disappoint then. :/ My songs are pretty mediocre. DX Or so I think anyways...
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